What does the Sanzer Rebbe think of Ritalin? • Educational question and answer

Fascinating questions and answers in matters of education, took place last week at the Sanz Rebbe's table, when Ra"m Sanz Yeshiva in Bnei Brak, Rabbi Aharon Yosef Halberstam, asked the Rebbe questions raised to some educational matters referred to him by the parents. The Rebbe answered all: Ritalin and grandparents intervention in grandchildren's education.

Initially, a transaction taking the time to talk about the father of his children at the meal, when the children wish to receive the full attention from the parent during the week, is not always available to them. The Rebbe suggested, "It is important to take time on Thursday or on Friday for about an hour's time, to prepare himself for what he wants to talk with his sons on Shabbos, and better choose a topic - such as the morality, kindness, meekness, or the Torah and prayer - and bring him words of Torah and stories. Of course you need to adjust it to the age of the children, while adults can say deeper words of Torah, while the little ones will say whatever suits them according to their understanding and perceptions. Of course it is important to set time aside for the girls, so they also understand what is being said.

In addition, the Rebbe proposed to also spend at least an hour for songs of devotion and joy, awakening the hearts, along with words of Torah said at the Shabbos table.

The Rebbe further said that "all those parents who behaved with their children with love and warmth, prevented many difficult cases that may arise over the years. I had a few cases of fathers who complained about boys who they see a decrease in their spirituality, and I told them firmly, in no way should they show them a stern countenance, despite the difficulty of it, but to express their love for them, and I was ready to be the one to do the scolding when necessary, maximum he won't be my chassid ... But if his father send him out of the house, he will go to the street and its consequences no one can foresee. And all those who listened to me, have earned from it, because usually after a period, and once short time longer, the son perceives himself.

The Rebbe was asked, should a grandfather that his grandchildren are staying with their father and family, scold or prove them when he notices behavior or expression that is not worthy?

"When their father is with them," the Rebbe replied, "Better not tell them mussar in front of him, but when the grandchildren come alone, it says (דברים לב, ז) Ask your father and he will say and your grandfather and he will tell you. Indeed today unfortunately it is not acceptable to say mussar to grandchildren, and sometimes boys do not like that their father intervenes in the education of their sons, but clearly there are ways that a person can prove his grandchildren, of course pleasantly and not in a way that the child will not want to come to his grandfather. And it is important not to prove any little thing that he sees, but sometimes words can be said brightly and not scold him in public during the Shabbos table in front of the other participants."

Facilities 'on wheels' - not wanted

The next question dealt with children's attitude during prayer times that usually observe, without any animation and enthusiasm, but barely look in the siddur and say a few words.

In reply, the Rebbe said that he heard from his father the Rebbe the Shefa Chaim zt"l in the name of Rabbi Meir Shapiro of Lublin zt"l:
"There's a surprising difference between the Batei Midrash of the advanced and educated to the Beit Midrash of chassidim, in the Batei Midrash of the advanced, fathers have their children with them and monitor them all the time during davening, to ensure they daven properly and don’t remove their eyes from the siddur, but eventually, when the boys grow up, they unload yoke of prayer completely. Conversely, in the Batei Midrash of chassidim the fathers pray loudly and enthusiastically, without minding that the children play amongst them, but eventually, when these children grow and mature, they continue to pray with the proper enthusiasm like their fathers.

"These are the fruits of the advanced Batei Midrash education for their children, and how do the sons of the chassidim pray properly, without being educated for that?

"Explained the Rabbi of Lublin zt"l, that the nature of each child is to be seen as the father and why do the children of the advanced who see their fathers talk and do not pray, but only care about their children praying, they too, as long as they are under their authority, they are committed with no choice but to pray, but as soon as they leave their authority they get rid of and do not pray, just as their ancestors did not pray ... But the sons of the chassidim who see their fathers pray with enthusiasm and sparks of fire with enthusiasm when they forget everything that surrounds them, are filled with awe of them, and only grow and leave their childhood acts immediately are drawn to pray in the same way they saw their fathers pray.

The Rebbe went on to explain that when children see their fathers pray properly, with warmth and enthusiasm, not according to the command through the motions but does not stop talking and walks around outside, etc., it affects them, sooner or later, and they learn from him how to pray.

"The behavior of the parent is the first rule in education, for what the son sees in his father is perceived to him as a symbol and an example of what one should do. Therefore if the father himself does not pray in a proper manner, there is no other advice to educate his son in prayer, that the son will imitate him and do his work."

"Sometimes I see people chatting in prayer, and when they see me looking at them they are quiet, and I wondered to myself, do they fear me? Besides for the fact that there's a matter of fear of heaven should they fear their sons who look at them and learn from their actions."

The Rebbe was asked to address the controversial issue of taking the Ritalin.
"Concerning Ritalin" I certainly cannot give a general provision, since on the one hand it is a useful medication, but there are times it is not useful, and therefore one should review each case on its merits of the matter. "

When the subject of long stay in the streets after school or during Bein Hazmanim, the Rebbe that he resents those purchasing bikes for their kids, or other facilities, on wheels, by doing so "they cause their children to stay on the street, too much."

'בחדרי' גם ברשתות החברתיות - הצטרפו!